The best way I heard Facebook described was that it’s a big cocktail party. Everybody you ever met is there. Some of them are standing right next to you, some far away. Everything you say can be heard to some extent by everybody and they’re all quite different people. How do you act in this situation?

(Like in real life, I guess it depends how drunk you are!)

If you’re at a comedy club, and the person on stage tells a sexist joke and the audience laugh, it’s worth remembering that the comedian didn’t make the audience sexist. It was like that before we got there.

What to do about it? Of course be an activist, of course work to change institutions, but I reckon every argument at every kitchen table across the globe to date basically adds up to our culture. At least you’ve got half an idea about who you’re talking to, and how to talk to them.

Hell, you could even write a poem, or a blog, or or a song, or a (better) joke about how you feel. It might make other people feel less lonely, and who knows, maybe even help them have better arguments.

It’s got to be better than blurting things out at a cocktail party.